The Bilingual Battle

“The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.”– Ludwig Wittgenstein

I've stayed in Utrecht for approximately two weeks now, and during this time I have come to question the different aspects of being bilingual. Utrecht is a central village in the Netherlands that is known for its beautiful canals, Christian monuments, and terrace culture. Contrarily to speaking English almost all year, I now spend my school time studying a physics course in my mother tongue Dutch. As a Belgian, I speak 'Flemish Dutch,' and while my dialect may have faded over the years, the difference between Flemish and Dutch accents is –at least to my ears— still quite different. The Flemish dialect differs from the Dutch spoken in the Netherlands, in regards to pronunciation, intonation, lexicon, and vocabulary (as Flemish includes loanwords from French and English). You can compare these existing differences with other languages such as French (France, Canada or Switzerland) or English (United Kingdom, Australia, Canada, USA, South Africa, New Zealand, etc.). While the differences may cause miscommunication between individuals, they're not sufficient to constitute as an individual language. To set things in perspective, I have studied the past six academic years in English and only spoke Dutch when talking to friends and family. As a result, I’ve struggled to fully comprehend concepts, terminology and key terms in Dutch in these first weeks in Utrecht.  So while Dutch is my mother tongue, is it really my dominant language? It's a question that many bilinguals may face, and a question that has really stood out to me now that I am learning in Dutch. 

I guess that as a bilingual (and even expat), one of the problems we face is fully maintaining a connection with our culture and most importantly our language. I personally have more confidence to communicate my ideas in English, specifically intellectual topics and concepts. However, at the same time, I feel more comfortable expressing my emotions in Dutch. Either way, I spend different amounts of time speaking each language, which causes the problem that I don't fully achieve the linguistic capability that a monolingual may occupy. From my experience, I believe that being a bilingual brings this baggage of constant-changing abilities when adapting to a new culture, society, or situation. I was always aware of this ability when traveling back to Belgium during summer, but I never truly realized that it also affects your ability to express yourself in different dialects. Being in the Netherlands and learning a course in my mother tongue will help me regain vocabulary that I may have lost over the years of being an expat, and perhaps strengthen my cultural appreciation and relationship with my roots. While it won’t be easy, I look forward to being able to find a balance in my abilities to express myself intellectually and emotionally both in Dutch and English. In an age of borderless communication and global travel, bilingualism fuels my brain’s ability to frame my thoughts and define how I understand and perceive the world. While it may cause struggles at times, I firmly believe that it is these language barriers that motivate us to fully reconnect with our own, or perhaps another culture.

And as the Dutch say: Doei!